© UNICEF/Greece/Tzortzinis

For photographer Angelos Tzortzinis, the heroes are never behind the camera

Featured image: © UNICEF/Greece/Tzortzinis

A rare conversation with media-shy photographer Angelos Tzortzinis, whose photo from Moria refugee camp on Lesbos was awarded Photo of the Year 2020 by UNICEF.   

At the dawn of the 2009 European economic crisis, a sizable and intense brain drain developed in Greece. While thousands of young, well-educated, and skilled Greeks were leaving the country in search of higher pay and better social prospects, others decided to stay. Photographer Angelos Tzortzinis was one of them.

In 2004, Angelos had just completed the mandatory military service, and enrolled in Leica Academie for creative photography in Athens without previous exposure to the art. He instantly committed himself to professional photography and cultivated an unprecedented yearning for reading and broad learning. Soon, his pictures began to stand out for their hidden meanings and indirect messages that divert audiences from everyday thoughts about the world, and get them to ask how can we engage with it, and — why not — change it. 

Angelos shows me part of a trilogy discussing the refugee crisis published five years ago at the TIME magazine under the title ‘Trapped’. All black and white panoramic film photographs depict stillness; the kind of quiet before the storm. The images make me think how many more adversities can these people deal with before falling to pieces. Graves of unidentified refugees on the island of Lesbos and a closed gate on the railway of the Greek-Macedonian border, near the village of Idomeni where about one million migrants and refugees awaited their transit to Europe. Stillness can also be a sign of hope for a better life. 

Even after numerous participations in global photo festivals and many international awards, Angelos doesn’t believe his work is phenomenal. On the contrary, his restlessness is motivation to move his art forward. He explains: “It is naive to search for a happy medium in photography. My criteria for a good photograph is not finding perfection in it. Nowadays, we can all take nice pictures with our high-tech mobile phones and the countless shooting and editing apps. I am interested in the story a photograph conveys.” 

Audiences who are looking for Angelos’ feelings in his photographs will have to be persistent. “At the moment of shooting there is an empty space between me, the theme, and the event. I become cynical when looking through the lens. In Libya, I saw dead people piled on the top of each other inside a boat. Until today, I haven’t been able to describe my feelings when on the ground, but I know it’s neither sadness nor anger — it’s a learned distance that I have mastered to maintain, so that I don’t lose my orientation, and I can carry on working until I reach my destination.”

For that reason, Angelos dislikes self-promotion and publicity through his photographs. He doesn’t want to come across as someone who benefits from the pain of others. Although, that would be an outrageous accusation against somebody who has dedicated himself to photography. In his early steps as a photographer, self-financed Angelos travelled to Turkey, Libya, Haiti, and Egypt, only with his backpack and camera. Does he undertake an assignment with the same ease nowadays that he has a ten-month-old son? Angelos replies: “I have done all the things that I have wanted to do without holding off. Now, I assess and reassess the risks before taking off on a mission. In September, when the fire broke out at Moria refugee camp at 2 AM, my wife was the one who persuaded me to pack up and go. She knows I was one of the first photographers to arrive there back in 2015, when only a few tents were set up. I owed it to myself to see the end of Moria.”

A couple of days after Moria burned to the ground, the Greek government opened a new camp on Lesbos, on a former military site — this time with a large police presence in and around. Living conditions in the camp haven’t improved significantly, and the dignity of the residents is renounced in the name of bureaucracy, moral failure, and lack of political will. No less than 10,000 people, including babies and children continue to live in the new camp.

Sincerely speaking, photography doesn’t have the power to cease a humanitarian crisis, but can certainly change the way we perceive things. “This is what photography is for me — the reform of my opinions and perceptions,” says Angelos, and he adds: “An image can be a hotbed of discussion about a crisis, and that is a positive thing.”

Indeed, a picture can awaken consciousness. Often, people are ignorant about what’s happening a few miles away from their home, let alone in other countries or continents. Maybe it takes one, two, or ten images to start questioning. And with people like Angelos this is possible. 

But his journey is lonely. “I live in a different context from most people. I spend time in isolation to think. I am continuously in a state of processing problems and searching for solutions. But I don’t expect everyone to be willing to have provocative conversations that they are not feeling comfortable having. That’s why my work addresses a smaller audience —  people who are prepared to lose their peace of mind and a good nights’ sleep, over things that matter. My work is much more than a click — it is a painful and time-consuming process,” he comments.

Angelos isn’t a votary of no limits in art. He explains: “Limits build your personality. There’s nothing better than recognising your limits and then crossing them.” His first photography lesson was on black and white photography, and the first picture he took was black and white. English photographer Martin Hampton introduced him to film photography. Today, 80 percent of his work, film or digital, is in black and white. “I interpret the world in black and white. However, the older I get, the more I see the magic of colour,” he admits.  

He doesn’t spend excessive time in editing. He strives to get the result he wants from the shooting. He says: “If you find clarity within yourself about what you want, you will need five clicks, not 50.” But Angelos loves to experiment. So, how does he cope with the time and creativity constraints that photojournalism entails? “My best work has originated when I didn’t have deadlines and the project was a personal choice rather than an external assignment,” he says. 

Angelos selects his projects based on concerns that are dear to him. He comes from a working-class family which struggled financially, and grew up in one of the poor neighbourhoods of western Athens, among immigrants and refugees.  As a child, he had a simple and happy life, but things changed at a very young age with the loss of his father. “I developed a survival instinct. I never allowed myself to make a mistake because I knew no one had my back,” he recounts. 

“For me it was natural to document the hardships of Greek people during the 2009 financial crisis (another series published in the TIME magazine), as well as the journeys of the refugees because these topics were not alien to me. All my subject matters touch a chord and awaken past experiences or memories,” he says. As a storyteller, it is vital to build genuine relationships with your subjects, and this can be achieved when you approach them with humility and compassion. “I entered hotel rooms of prostitutes who slept with strangers for five Euros, and when people asked me how did I gain their trust, the answer was simple: ‘I wasn’t an outsider,’” he says.

Categorisation of photography puts Angelos off, as much as style does. “At this particular time in history, I make a living and support my family through photojournalism. But a label won’t stop me from trying new things in photography, even if it means I fail and start all over again. After all, this is the photographer’s purpose: to evolve along with his art,” he concludes.

Mocha Café: For a coffee break beyond borders

When — a few weeks ago — I saw the tasteful “Coming Soon!” placard outside house number 17 on KG 439 Street, I knew something worth waiting for is being cooked behind the green gate. Vision 2020 in Gacuriro is merely a residential area, with everything that makes a suburban neighbourhood truly great: a school, a clinic, green lawns, safety, friendly neighbours, and now — its very own café. Mocha Café is not just a sign of the times that the coffee industry in Kigali is booming; it’s the destiny of its owners, Burhan and Sanaa.

Mocha Cafe in Kigali
© Mocha Café

The Yemeni couple arrived in Rwanda in April this year and started working on the development of the café on the first of May. “But this is only two months ago,” I exclaimed while spinning around to take in all that has been done in this space: handmade carpentry, interior design, barista equipment, electrics. “It’s been two work-intensive months, but this is also our home, meaning that the anticipation to see the end result is double,” Burhan explains. 

Indeed, for Burhan and Sanaa, Mocha Café isn’t just a business. While sipping my Masala tea and taking bites of the fresh from the oven chocolate cake that Sanaa has just served in a creative and beautifully presented style, I am thinking that they have literally opened their home to me. “It wasn’t intentional to combine the café with our living space, but the moment we saw this house, we knew it was the one,” Burhan says; and continues: “We were dreaming of a place where our customers can feel at home, and we can cater for them as friends.” 

Sanaa’s warm smile and expressive eyes and Burhan’s unhurried manners invite me to ask about their journey to Rwanda. “We got married in 2010, and in 2011 the revolution in Yemen began [which later on escalated to a lengthy war]. And along with it our adventures around the world,” Burhan remarks jokingly. But moving from Malaysia to Jordan to Kenya, back to Jordan, back to Malaysia, to Chad, and Rwanda is most certainly not light reading.   

“We miss home, and we don’t know when it will be possible for us to visit Yemen again. So, we created a home away from home here in Kigali with our love for hospitality, coffee, and cooking,” they say by completing each other’s words. When Burhan is called into the kitchen by Gane, one of the four kind staff members, Sanaa admits: “I am a dentist, and I miss my work, but Mocha Café is our project now, and needs the one hundred per cent from both of us.”

I comfortably sink into my seat and decide to stay a bit longer. “Is it okay if I turn my laptop on to do some work?” I ask, even though I suspect it will be a definite yes. “I am a freelance writer myself,” Burhan says. “Working from home makes me sleepy, so I am always looking for inviting cafés. I am very happy I have created this environment for other people.” 

Mocha Cafe in Kigali
© Mocha Café

But Mocha Café isn’t just an excellent working space in an area that is isolated from the hustle and bustle of Kigali, amidst lush gardens and chirpy birds. It is also a family spot with a mini playground for children, and your extended living room where you can meet your friends for a meaningful catch-up. If you find yourself alone without company or a laptop, don’t hesitate to grab one of the books from Burhan and Sanaa’s collection.     

Before I slurp the last bit of my banana peanut smoothie (talking about life beyond borders and the future, and looking at the pictures from their travels was so captivating that I didn’t realise I had been served again), I already know that this brand new café in Kigali has effortlessly won my heart. 

Mocha Cafe in Kigali
© Mocha Café

Where: 17, KG 439 Street, Vision 2020, Gacuriro

Opening hours: 7:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.

Menu: The food is home-made and healthy. I have tried the veggie burger and the avocado hummus sandwich, and I can’t recommend them enough. For a lighter option, don’t miss the breakfast fruit and cereal bowl. If you love the aromas of coffee but don’t want the side effects of caffeine, ask for Qishr, a Yemeni traditional hot drink made of coffee shells and spices. 

Attendants: Philamo and Gane in the kitchen and Arek and Zulfa on the floor. 

A day out in Kigali

Friends and family ask me to describe Kigali and life in my new home city. It’s a huge responsibility to be the one who conveys a message and creates an image of a country that’s vastly defined by its tragic history. So, on Thursday, Toff and I took the day off work and decided to seize the day.

Before we concluded on the spots we wanted to check out in Kigali, we asked ourselves what do we want from our everyday lives here. Wherever we go, the answer is more or less the same: a living room outside our home, engagement with the arts scene, and a bond with the community.

Kigali Public Library

Kigali Public Library

With Toff’s (kind of) flexible hours and my freelance job, we have the option to work from different spaces to break the routine and get the benefits from a change of scenery. The Kigali Public Library in Kacyiru is between home and Kigali Heights, where ALU is. This is the first public library in Rwanda, and its opening in 2012 was about the promotion of reading culture among the population and a reminder that lack of access to accurate information can lead to tragic events such as the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi.

The outdoor space is a park in the city; an excellent spot for setting up a picnic and marvelling at the hilly views of Kigali. Kids were running around with brushes and canvases, taking part in an art class. The dark furniture colours inside the library and the organisation of desks and chairs reminded me a lot of dull Greek classrooms, but the selection of books is an excellent introduction to African literature for someone as clueless as I am. For a start, I borrowed three books: Letter to My Daughter by Maya Angelou, We Are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For by Alice Walker, and Breath on the Mirror by Dennis Tedlock.

Conference space at Shokola Café
Conference space at Shokola Café

We were slightly disappointed that the library wouldn’t become the space we were looking for — until we reached at the rooftop. Shokola Café is an open multipurpose space, with cosy corners for reading and working, meeting rooms, gallery walls, and some delicious Mediterranean flavours that made me smile.

Bonus: The service was out of this world — a balanced approach of professionalism and friendliness.

Inema Arts Center

Toff and I are mini art collectors with original works in our collection coming from South Korean, Ghanaian, Canadian, Brazilian, and Japanese artists. Iotoff‘s art is travelling with us at all times and is always the first item to be unpacked in our new home. We believe that art isn’t about making spaces prettier; is about creating spaces that encourage forward thinking and motion outside our comfort zone.

To get this feeling of brain tickles, we walked (up and down the hilly roads) for about half an hour from the library to Inema Arts Center. We entered into a garden with art installations and graffiti on the walls, and we knew the heart of Kigali’s art scene is beating here. The docent welcomed us explaining the arrangement of the artwork, and we even had a quick chat with one of the two founders, painter Innocent Nkurunziza.

Several artworks, which we cannot afford at this stage, attracted us. It’s difficult to think about art when we haven’t got our bed, fridge, and Mars’ arrival sorted out yet. But we can keep coming back to Inema Arts Center to admire the work of the resident painters and sculptures, the artisan women, the dancers, and the musicians. Here, your presence encourages creative people to use their creativity for a productive livelihood.

Bonus: On Thursdays, they have get-togethers from 6 to 9 pm with music performances, beers, and lively chats at the bar.

Kimironko Market

Markets don’t need much explanation. From Port Louis to Istanbul and from Athens to Haenam, markets share some common elements: colourful products, hand gestures, convincing language, and creative presentation of products. I knew that in the market the notion of personal space is non-existent and that there would be a lot of staring at the umuzungu (the light-skin foreigner).

You don’t put yourself in this environment unless you are patient, like haggling, and have an eye for detail. You must be ready to squeeze through narrow alleys, crammed with houseware, handicrafts, and fabrics while being stopped by every single vendor who is keen on selling you something good; something you didn’t know you needed.

Young ladies followed me around for several metres with the web browser on their phone open to fashion designs. “I can make you a beautiful dress for RWF 15,000 (about 15 euros), including fabric”, one lady said. When she saw that I wasn’t impressed by the offer, she added: “In less than an hour.”

Downside: I couldn’t keep calm when passing by the butcher. The smell and sight of blood and the sound of butchering half-dead or half-alive animals is turning my stomach.

Time, move on! There’s nothing here to heal

One year later

Half of my post-you life as I am now calling it coincides with my time in Greece. I wish you could see how dog-friendly Athens has become. I reckon the crisis has shut off romantic relationships, and those lucky enough to have kept their partner cannot afford a baby or don’t find the courage to bring one into this mad world. So, Athenians have turned to adorable, frisky rescue puppies. But it seems that many of these owners cannot respond to the long-term commitment as wherever I go, I come across lonely and skittish homeless dogs. I have developed a hobby, and I am taking Instagram photos of disadvantaged animals because recording their existence is the least I can do or is it that I see something in them that I want to capture and never let go? Dogs, just like human beings, who have been through some tough luck in their lives tend to have a considerate and affectionate personality. I don’t know what Oscar Wilde had in mind when he said that “behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic”, but when I read his words, I think of you Guru — your supreme essence that blossomed in our home the moment it felt safe and loved. Your majesty, balancing on your tragedy, has taught us that every adversity we meet in life is one of the many blocks that along with the blocks of victory build the tower of our life.

But, life without you is the tower with one less block.  

You & me ahead of time

 

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A week ago I heard the news of the sudden death of an ALU student, Elone Imanigiraneza Nkindi. In her memorial service, the sister of Elone’s friend, who was injured in the same accident, spoke about how we think that there’s always time to say and do things, procrastinating the creation of new memories and the expression of words of love towards our favourite and most precious people in the world. But time isn’t promised, and it can stop; just like this, leaving you only with the things you did and said. Inspired by this realisation, I want to speak to my sister today, and here’s what I have to tell her.

Since we decided that our lives are happening outside Greece and far away from each other, we grab every given opportunity to be together, and we cherish the moments with laughter, ventures, and revelations. But it never seems to be enough; it does not make up for the time we haven’t spent together — our evolution and creative silences. I miss you when you are not here; and when we are together, I am preparing myself to miss you again, more than before.

I praise you for your fantabulous style and sense of humour — an endless source of hilarity. I admire you for being the best mother I have known, and I respect you for being the unimpeachable daughter to our parents. I love you not because you are my sister but because there’s nothing I could not share with you; if I can think it, you can know it.

So similar but so different, you don’t always agree with my choices, but I appreciate your faith in me; and when you are seriously in doubt, I am even more determined to succeed and make you proud. Sometimes it is uneasy when you don’t see why I choose a particular path, and I am so selfish to believe that it’s obvious and that if I feel it the whole world should feel it too. I apologise for all the times Ι haven’t taken the moments to make you understand and mikry mou know that you can ask me anything.

Thank you for all your generosity; for openly saying how much you love me and how happy you would be to spend every single day of your life with me. I couldn’t be luckier I know, but I am too much of a maverick and a lone wolf maybe to let myself enjoy all the affection. But remember that wherever my mind and soul may be roaming, you are my reference; my Alpha and my Omega.

How much life can fit in one year?

To Guru, who carried with him the wisdom and the maturity of a gentleman — a discreet but sturdy love.

Guru, the calendar says it’s been a month since that morning when you didn’t wake up — one month and a few hours. I wonder how time is measured where you are, but regardless, I hope most of it you spend being brushed. This is just a quick note to let you know how things have been from that day; definitely not the same.  

We are now in between stage four (depression) and five (acceptance) of grief, which is said by experts to be normal, so there’s nothing to worry about; it’s a matter of a few more weeks for us to stop referring to two dogs when there’s only one left, and keeping your leashes on the keyholder. We donated your food, but someone as generous as you can only be pleased with this.

In her robust way, Mars is naturally living up to your exemplar of tactful, respectable, gracious, charming, civilised, and sensitive dog. You taught her all that we human beings wouldn’t have been able to. She misses you a lot; her soft companion. But I believe you two are more in touch, and you don’t need me to say more.

Everyday life is filled with memories of you, which pop up unexpectedly here and there. My favourite one is of you enjoying the car rides on the coastal road; the wind is blowing your ears and snout, and you cannot get enough of this pleasure. But you weren’t seeking the pleasures in life; devotion was the greatest of values for you. Following me to the bathroom while brushing my teeth and sitting with me by the toilet; slipping but not complaining when I soaked your paws in coconut butter; lying on the floor with one paw gently on my foot while watching movies that aren’t your thing; trying new flavours because I find them to be good combinations; patiently waiting for the party to finish so you can get some quiet sleep.

Guru, you came to our lives as suddenly as you left. But the meaning you gave to our short time together multiplied each day by 100. In a way, you knew and we knew, but we didn’t care; you made us a family and taught us parenting. 

Due to a quirk of fate

 

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Moment captioned by Francisco Escalante

The white colour embraces my figure and the duchess satin kisses my turns—when again in my life I’ll dare to wear white satin fabric without the concern of looking ridiculously luscious? I hold nature in my two hands—stephanotis, gardenia and roses with splashes of green blooms—and the weight of a-300-old family history on my ring finger. I am the best image of myself I will ever see (just a bit defocused, shaky and blurry).

I am so far away from the teenage room with the magazine cuts, blue tacked on the wardrobe—asana postures, T. S. Eliot words: Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go and fashion items I wish to own. The room used to fit the whole world and now the whole world cannot fit me—the more I travel, love, admire … the less I understand the naïveté of my life before Toff—my husband. But husband is such an outdated word—the master of the house, the man who has land and stock—coming from the Old Norse word hūsbōndi. Toff is none of these. He is my partner, my teammate.

There are two or three versions of how and when we first met going back and forth, and an epos freed in the universe about why we met. And then there’s everyday life—from the icy English Channel to the coldish South Sea to the tropical Indian Ocean. Life in one room, in two rooms and life in three floors. Days among friends, hours with people (just people), years without family. But there’s no drama, no masks—only open-ended questions with no pressure to be answered here and now. Life itself will answer them for us—someday—when the matter has been long forgotten.

As I said, we are a team. We ginger each other up when we become lethargic. Sometimes we pick holes in each other’s imperfections, but only because we want to be better—individually and together. We pressure one another to do one good turn per day, and we learn how to be resilient. At times we bite more than we can chew, but we don’t skate around our problems and mistakes. We have always had itchy feet and we have high jinks finding our gist of life. But you shouldn’t take for granted everything I say because sometimes I tend to romance a bit—especially when I am celebrating my first wedding anniversary and 30th birthday.

 

These are the health benefits of listening to your body

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Fernand Leger, Progetto di sipario per skating ring, 1922, photo credit: Dansmuseet

 

— It’s more than a discomfort, but not exactly a pain. It’s tender 24/7 but when I start moving, it aches.

— On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your pain?

— Six.

Coincidentally, it’s also my sixth visit to a different doctor this month. From the General Practitioner to the Family Doctor, the Acupuncturist, the Gastrointestinal, the Orthopedic and now the Family Doctor again. But I wouldn’t set the whole of the Haenam and Gwangju medical world on my heels for no reason.

My body is a world-class complainer. She spits out statements without any reservation, or the slightest guilt for the inconvenience. It’s heavy to be dancing all night long in Haeundae beach like a teenager, only to wake up the next morning with a piercing pain on your left flank (and a question in your head: “Did I push too hard for my age?”)

I lie down, and I can hear her: “Stay there, I am cool. Maybe turn a bit to the left.” I walk, and she will be like: “Slow down. Please don’t rush to catch the green light ahead.” I queue up, and she whispers: “Are we there yet?” The doctors call them symptoms, but to me are wholesome conversations with my body.

At my first visit to the doctor I was wearing shorts and a georgette shirt. Today, I saw the vascular surgeon — who talked me through my CT scan — in knee length boots and wool  jumper. It took two seasons, nine X-rays, two blood and urine tests, two ultra sounds, 19 dry needle sessions and a few acupuncture sessions to establish what my body was talking about.

Instead of one size fits all, now I can see why I am feeling the way I am — which also means doing the right thing to feel better. But the volume and density of pain a person can go through by bashfully ignoring it, is flustering. You would’t get on with a broken mobile, would you? But, why be oblivious to yourself? Listening to my body — I believe — is a form of self-respect.

But while you are doing your best, doctors can be deliberately obtuse —  the main reason I  turned to homeopathy ten years ago. Being in a country though, where homeopathy is unheard-of, I needed to build a rapport with these doctors — meaning, I had to be lenient toward their comments:

“No wonder you are in pain. You live in a boring town. You should move to Gwangju”.

“Women are complicated. It’s your stress and emotions”.

Some days I came close to bottling her up, and settle with whatever medical explanation I had been given so far: stress, muscle strain, all in your head type of thing. But I was determined to spend the time and money, for I knew she would feel betrayed if I didn’t.

It’s not the first time I treated my body with care and love. Nor it’s the first time I took on a prolonged fasting to give my body the extra energy it needs for the fighting-the-pain process. When we fast, there is more energy available for the toxins elimination and cleansing process — energy required for digestion otherwise.

But abstinence from food is a natural instinct observed in animals and babies, who refuse to eat when they are ill. I was just listening to my body.

Feeling any type of discomfort or pain, isn’t okay. Ignoring it, isn’t okay. Letting others to underestimate the way we feel, isn’t okay. Pain strikes as a signal, not a punishment we deserve to live with.

My body has to deal with a few internal flaws (I said internal, please leave my white hair, pointy teeth, knobby knees out of this), and as the doctor said they are rare syndromes. But for every pain and ache, she and I know that we are working towards healing. And we are grateful to have each other.

What’s your postcode again?

Ayvalik

Ayvalik

Airports are arenas of emotions, information, objects and human activity; rinks for scintillating scientific performance, which never ceases to amaze me. When people around me complain about the blah food served by the x airline and the limited inflight entertainment options, I divert to the proficiency, competence and intelligence that lead to the arduous event of flying. Absolutely my first air travels in planes weren’t so sophisticated, and by its nature, traveling, regardless of the transport modality, is conquered with practice.

Born in Bulgaria by Bulgarian parents and raised in Greece with the authority of an essentialist national ideology that advocated “You are born Greek, you cannot become Greek”, I was actually nurtured by a secret ambition to become a citizen of the world. Stern necessity or strong personal voice? — living in South Korea these days, I am still an unbroken traveler who is not quite sure where this knack of movement stems from.

With time, I have grown an aversion toward nationality as the definitive answer to one’s personality, skills and chances in prosperity. When my mother inquired about my sister’s grade in Greek Literature back in my sister’s high school days, the teacher replied: “What is wrong with grade 17? You are definitely not suggesting that your Bulgarian daughter’s Greek language is at the same level as her Greek classmates.” The truth is that my sister’s Greek was at much higher level than her classmates — she is a gifted polyglot after all. My own class memories spin around my mates gawking at me upon every mention of the word Bulgaria and its derivatives in History classes that were examining the hostile Bulgarian-Greek relationships of the earlier 20th century. Ever since, in social occasions that I have to mention my Bulgarian origin, I get a sudden feeling of warmth spreading through my upper body and face: embarrassment.

Travel to investigate

In the cultural frenzy of my teens, traveling was my pass to invisibility — in these short therapeutic journeys around Europe and to America, I was free to reshuffle my Golden Rules, and come a step closer to who I wanted to be, without the heftiness of what people expected me to be. Upon return I was facing the tangible uphill struggle: holding onto the new nonchalant, lenient and easy self I anticipated. But to be honest, traveling in adolescence is predominantly a whimsical and romantic bliss — I was traveling for the adventure, for the adrenaline rush that hits you in a moment of excitement and for meeting new characters (friends or enemies, lovers or partners).

Travel to learn

Going to England to study a Master’s was the natural walk of life to choose. The journey of international education, which is a small part of the traveling picture of my life was the most enthusiastic and eye-opening outing. The enthusiasm was the result of youth and ignorance — as sophomores we weren’t worrying about whether we could or couldn’t change the world but how we would! Now, I wish we had set our sights on changing the few annoying bits about our neighborhood. What a change we could have brought to the elderly, the coloured, the immigrants, the mothers, the homeless and the drug addicts of our street.

Travel to belong

Goodbyes are the stumbling block to unbiased traveling — the moment you have to enter the airport security area, and you tear yourself apart with anger and sorrow for where you are heading to and whom you are leaving behind. I had been preparing for my trip to the African continent for a few years with interviews, desk research and double shifts at work that boosted my savings account. The day I booked my ticket to Accra, I was holding in my hand (I purchased a physical ticket) all I had ever wanted: a journey to Africa. And my other hand was tangled in my today’s husband hand. There is this feeling of belonging to more than one place that makes me travel.

Travel to understand

My passport is Greek. My husband is a British national, born in Saudi Arabia from Eritrean parents. My extended family (cousins, uncles and aunties, grandparents and nephews) lives in Bulgaria. My sister holds an American only passport and her husband is Ghanaian who was born in Czech Republic and has lived all his adult life in the USA. My two-years-old niece is somehow the flower of all these seeds and my children will probably be born in different countries, unsuspected to me at the moment. In a world defined by the speed of change from traditional to modern and the speed of travels and information, it’s at best vintage to talk about single identities and pure nations.

In his book The World Until Yesterday, Jared Diamond comments: “In the modern Western world we have come to take the freedom to travel for granted, but previously it was exceptional. In 1931 no New Guinean born in Goroka had ever visited Wapenamanda a mere 107 miles to the west; the idea of traveling from Goroka to Wapenamanda, without being killed as an unknown stranger within the first 10 miles from Goroka, would have been unthinkable.” Yet, in 2014 only, I have traveled 20,000 miles internationally and I am getting to know South Korea by taking long weekend trips in despair to seize the world.

Travel to follow

I traveled to South Korea because I followed my husband nine months after he first landed on the country with a two-year employment contract. The confusing mixture of similarities and differences between South Korea and other familiar to me societies, such as the Greek or the British, is part of what fascinates me about this country and its people. South Koreans have a self-contradictory tendency: they are shy but they are open to meeting new people and welcoming them to their lives; the parents are strict but at the same time they let their kids hang around with them in restaurants and bars in the late-night hours.

South Korea is the fourth country after Greece, England and Ghana, where I have arrived as an immigrant — a proud traveler who is prepared for everything to happen along the way and usually suffers quietly at the end of the line, hiding fears, concerns and hardships behind a fulgent smile. Immigration is physically and mentally exhausting: from meteorological conditions and air pollution to smells, sounds and … toilets and beds that are not as you are used them to be. The one way to go through immigration without losing your passions, loves and inspirations is to adapt (i.e. to compromise) and to accept. My level of adaptation has totally shifted my standards and my expectations from people — I dislike bellyachers.

But merely traveling as having a child or a career is not the pattern for a fulfilling life; it’s just my way to a mental settlement that will one day lead me back home. And I look forward to finding out where home is.

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Art by Iotoff

Art by Iotoff

A nation is having hallucinations, and it’s like a manic episode of someone who cannot position himself in real time and space. He will run outside and talk about conspiracies and superheroes, and will cry about a treasure chest that is laying at the bottom of the sea. But again, it’s not as innocuous because it’s a widely spread attitude, and the scattered healthy minds are desperate.

I read in a 4-page green report in LIFO free press, that Greek people are familiar with recycling, that they recycle and they do it per 30% more than 7 years ago. To prove its point, the report says that from 98,000 recycling bins in 2009 the country today has 140,000. The story is arranged in between a graphic design excess of nothing Greek: couples kissing on the grass, daisies happily growing outside the metro station and monuments rooted in a sea of grass. So, for the last two months I have been witnessing how the rubbish men empty the recycling bin in the same track where they have emptied the bin with the general waste, and I don’t know: Have I been wasted?

Education is another frentic episode of theirs. “It’s free” they brag “and this is what makes us a Democracy”. How hypocritical to talk about “free education” when the entry to the university has cost a student approximately 9,000 Euro all spent in what has becomemandatory evening tutorials. It might be cheaper than in other European countries, yes. But not free. Morning state high-schools are a microcosmos of a society of competition among best friends and of young people who are obsessed with answer books and high marks. Education in Greece is not about discovering knowledge but about reproducing it – and you see the impact of this on the students’ faces: fed up faces who haven’t been given the chance to make their personal statement. And only the hallucinated continue unharmed in a society where everyone is a bit tipsy from the lies.

Sometimes I envy their frentic episodes because they have a certain freedom. You can be whoever you want to be, and as it was said by Nietzsche and it was said by Freud, one must have one’s delusions to live and to be happy. For us, who look at life too honestly and clearly, let’s admit it: life is an unpleasant business.